I often feel a bit out of place with the students around me, probably because of my introverted personality. When people are enthusiastically discussing popular new games or anime, I find it hard to keep up with them. After all, I'm not particularly interested in these topics, so sometimes I feel like an alien during these conversations.
As a child, I was fascinated by programming and signed up for classes. At home, my dad would lecture me on life lessons, but I rarely paid any attention. I made some friends in those classes, but our relationships were superficial- we attended different schools, had age gaps, and did not have any shared interests. My life in school was ordinary, but the pressure of AP coursework and heavy assignments kept me busy. In my free time, I immersed myself in programming, reading, and what I call cyber archaeology, where I explore vintage movies and games. If I find an interesting game, I would search for its earliest versions, like Final Fantasy.
I also tried to build friendships with classmates by joining the school's computer club. In the club, I met people with similar interests, and occasionally we would discuss programming problems. However, even in the club, our interactions were limited to problem-solving. When my computer’s brightness adjustment broke, we thought of solutions together. But once the issue was solved, everyone went back to their own activities.
As a die-hard nerd, I feel like I have no presence when I don’t have social media. I have many online friends and my own e-social circle, and I believe online is the best way to socialize. My online world is where I can truly connect, with internet friends in my digital friend circle. At school, I often feel disconnected because our interests don’t align. Most of my peers play mobile games while I prefer niche games they’ve never heard of. Since I’m not interested in their games and they’re not interested in mine, we rarely find common ground. At school, I feel disconnected from others since our interests don't align. I lack the feeling of sharing experiences with someone who truly understands me. There are times when I can chat with some netizens and have a great conversation, but often, I don't have anyone who appreciates my sense of achievement, so I feel a bit stifled.
Despite this, I continue to navigate my dual existence- quiet and reserved in school, yet fully engaged in the digital world where I feel seen and understood.
- Anonymous
Devin｜Content curator
Victor｜Editor
孙逸铭｜Translator
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